mein kampf: a political testimony 19.October.2008

I helped keep Barack Obama in his candidacy for U.S. President.  That’s right.  I voted for him in the Texas primary.  To be honest, I liked crazy old Ron Paul, but I knew he had no chance of winning when my time to vote came around.

“So how could you fall so far as to vote for ‘that one’?” my dear Republican readers wonder.

Sometime last year, I realized that Christians can vote for Democrats.  No, seriously, I did.  My highly respected Christ-following sister came out of the political closet and announced she was a registered Democrat.  And then I read God’s Politics by Jim Wallis.  And Wallis poisoned me even further.  I realized that voting on political issues was going to take much more mulling and measuring and masticating (sorry — I needed another m-word) than going with the general trend of the evangelical Christian public.  How should I stand politically as a follower of Christ to promote justice on the earth?  I had heard, you know, that line that says “God’s not a Republican.”  But really, God’s not a Republican.

In the past few months, everything has gotten hot.  I have heard people blast McCain and Palin; I have heard people blast Obama and Biden even harder (maybe thanks to my conservative background and the people with whom I associate?).  Everyone seems to have decided whom they’re voting for, and the other candidate may as well be the devil.

And in the meantime, I flounder.  Not on the issues.  But on the candidates.  Poverty is something God cares about deeply, and so I lean toward Obama, who cares enough to mention poverty among the issues on his website.  But abortion?  How do you even quantify the horror of abortion?  And yet.  And yet. Should the issue of abortion govern all my every political decision?  After all, what impact might our care of the environment have on future generations?  Would taking care of the earth keep millions more people alive in poverty-stricken countries in the coming decades?

I tried to quantify innocent deaths against innocent deaths; I compared the issue of abortion with the war.  (I am not strongly anti-Iraqi-war, since there is way too much confidential information for the average American to decide whether going to war was justified.  I do have my suspicions, though, that the war had more to do with oil than with the danger of dictator Saddam Hussein.)  Just or unjust war, “innocent” Iraqis have died — people just as precious as those aborted babies.  But those babies — there are so many.  So many more than those killed because of the US’s decision to go to war.  So if you’re comparing numbers… isn’t abortion still the greater evil?

Obama says he wants to educate women so there are fewer unwanted pregnancies.  He wants to make adoption a more viable option, too.  I can support that, although I hate, hate, hate his “if all else fails” solution — to murder a baby that God created.

On financial issues, McCain says, “I want to make every American rich!”  Obama says he wants to spread the wealth around — a biblical perspective if you ask me.  I’d like to say that Christians can do the job of lifting the poor from their suffering, independent of taxation fixes.  But the truth is, we’re not doing it.  Well, then, it’ll have to be done for us.

I have been disgusted by McCain’s haughty nature in debates with Obama.  Maybe he calls himself a maverick; I call him rude.  I have been positively influenced by Obama’s thoughtful, measured responses.  Truly.

On the issue of agriculture, I’m with Obama, too.  While McCain wants to enable farmers to compete in the worldwide market, Obama wants to make it easier for local family farms to thrive.  Obama’s focus is crucial in cutting our oil usage and keeping organic, local food at our fingertips.

I am not deeply impacted by the likelihood of Obama raising taxes.  Socialism does not scare me.  (Oh, how many of you must hate my standpoint on this!)  I wish we could have pure freedom in America.  I wish that the generosity of free humans would overflow with such abundance that poverty would be annihilated.  But it’s not being annihilated.  Those that would be generous have not been generous enough, and the poor continue to suffer.

And I think, too, that freedom on earth is just wishful thinking.  If you’re free in Christ, what does a bigger government harm you?  I realize that governments can get so big that God’s people are oppressed, and I believe that grieves God.  But think how the Chinese church has grown under Communism!  I don’t wish that for us as Americans at all, but I don’t think that socialism is the epitome of spiritual warfare.

What I want to vote for, come November, is a candidate that will support God’s values to care for the poor and the disenfranchised and the earth we’re supposed to be stewarding.  I have not forgotten that one of the disenfranchised ones is the tiny baby who doesn’t make it out of his mother’s womb alive.  And I hurt for that child; my gut churns for that child.  It is the one issue that is keeping me on the fence.

I wish I could just write in Ron Paul on my ballot and say my vote doesn’t matter anyway, especially here in Texas.  I could just stay home and watch McCain get Texas’s vote.  But I believe I need to decide.

And so I struggle.  And so I pray.  I pray that when I cast my ballot, I will do it without guilt or regret.

Afterword:

I know you’re both out there — Obama supporters and McCain supporters.  How did you make your choice?  If your few words could convince me to support one candidate above another, what would you tell me?  Please!  I really want to hear from my readers on this one.

bananas and adoption 12.August.2008

We graft a child into our family.  The child has always called another country home.  She had another mommy and daddy once upon a time.  She knows the sights, the smells, the sounds of Ethiopia or Korea or Russia.  Her “I am From” story did not include Kansas wheatfields or plastic-packed Walmarts.  If she could speak, she would tell you that America is not “the beautiful” to her; it is a foreign place.  Not home.

Some adopt because they want children.  We want children, too, and to us, it doesn’t matter if they come from our bodies or on an airplane.  We try to adopt with a heart like God’s.  He calls us to care for orphans, and so we follow, thankful that we can be one of the few fortunate adoptive parents.  We adopt because we find it unspeakably exciting to have a global family — so all of our children will know that the world extends beyond our street and our suburb.  We think we want to rescue a child — to teach him about God, and to give him a family again.  We consider the gift of a family as more precious than allowing the child to stay among all that is familiar.  But with all of its goodness and badness, “all that is familiar” is still home to that child.  We hope, that with a lot of love and time, the child will have a beautiful life, and we can be his heroes and his home.

I just finished reading Are Those Kids Yours?, one of the many adoption books on my list.  It was published in 1991, and its statistics are old, most from the 80s.  The last chapter is called “The Global Family,” and it’s dedicated to turning adoptive parents’ insight to the bigger picture, to see adoption not as a solution to the world’s problems and poverty, but only as a small BandAid over our whole global mess.  In spite of being an old book, I kept getting the feeling that this section had been written yesterday:

“In the account of his son’s adoption, Michael Perlitz referred to Honduras as a ‘banana republic.’  Indeed, it is the prototype of a banana republic.  It was governed by the Spanish for 300 years, and then after a brief period of independence, economically ‘colonized’ in the last century by North American entrepreneurs with the aid of military intervention, in order to keep U.S. markets supplied with food that doesn’t grow in our climate.  Bananas and other export products, such as coffee and sugar, are grown on large plantations, leaving little land to grow food for local use.  Agricultural labor is low-wage work, so the campesinos, or local workers, who pick the crops have little money to buy food….

“When rural Hondurans or Filipinos cannot make ends meet on the wages they earn and have no land on which to grow food, they have great difficulty providing for their children.  Some move to the cities in the hope of better opportunities that may not exist.  Often the father leaves and the family never manages to be reunited.  Relinquishing a child for adoption may be the only way to keep the child fed” (Cheri Register in Are Those Kids Yours?).

Cheri Register goes on to ask a few questions of her readers:

“What does it mean to feel responsible for these conditions?  If the world’s wealth were distributed equitably, what would the common standard of living be?  What would we Americans have to give up?… Can we in our daily lives make principled choices that, in the long run, enable these… families to provide for their children?”

I have bananas in a bowl on my counter.  I just bought them at the store this morning.  I think if I bit into one right now, I would be sick.  How many children have been orphaned because of American gluttony?

When we adopt a child, we will be providing what we believe is the best solution for that child.  But as one four-year-old adoptee asked his mother, “Why don’t the American moms and dads just send money to the Korean moms and dads so they can keep their children?”  We have to ask these questions, not to wrack ourselves with guilt, but to embrace the responsibility that is ours.

I sometimes wonder what God sees when He looks at the world.  Could He teach me how my purchase of a T-shirt made in a sweatshop in Asia leads to the abandonment of a child by its raw-fingered, empty-pocketed, ostracized mother?

I look at the problems and wish I could say, “It is only this sinful world.  There’s nothing I can do.”  But that just doesn’t work when I feel responsible.

on motherhood and joy 24.June.2008

I long for the moment when we are matched with our adoptive child, and the day when we bring our Ethiopian baby home to be part of our family.  I anticipate both great pain and unbounded joy in our relationship with our next child.  Motherhood calls me, and I yearn for it.

And then, someday, after our adoption is complete, I hope to be pregnant again.  I know the deep and full emotions that pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding create within me, and I desire those luxurious gifts at least one more time.

I read Crunchy Domestic Goddess’s home birth story yesterday.  Her story challenges me to consider home birthing if I experience pregnancy again.  There is a new and controversial documentary produced by Ricki Lake called The Business of Being Born.  (If you happen to have a Netflix subscription, you can watch the movie instantly online.)  After watching the movie a couple months ago, I realized for the first time (though I’m ashamed to admit my ignorance), that home birthing is actually a safe and beautiful birthing option for women.  I imagine a quiet and darkened room with the people I love and trust.  I have no fear of hospitals or doctors, but if I can deliver a baby at home with the expert and caring coaching of an experienced midwife and perhaps My Sister the Doula, maybe my next childbirth experience can be seen more as a celebration of life than as a medical emergency.

Oh, I have so much to look forward to!  In recent months, I find God teaching me to be a thankful person.  I am in awe of how He has fashioned me as a woman and as a mother.

I came across Psalm 139 again last week, and it causes me to exult in the love God has for humankind:

“For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

(Psalm 139.13-17, NIV)

When I am thankful, and at peace in my heart, I can live with purpose as a mother.  The anger that bares its fierce head when Isaiah tries my patience can melt more quickly; I don’t have to be a slave to it.

And when I am thankful, each of my actions seems to be an exercise of devotion — even writing, even eating.  After a rough week of eating some unhealthy foods, I am returning to my diet of whole and raw foods, this time with more concentration on fruits.  Aren’t fruits just delightful?  I wonder what this diet will mean for my future if I would get pregnant, but I imagine I will have plenty of time to do research on how to best nourish my baby.

I anticipate years of time to learn the beauties of life as a mother.  But if something happens, if it were all taken away, I truly believe that this brief season of watching life grow — and being an instrument of that growth — has been enough of a gift for me to be eternally thankful.

hunger 11.June.2008

Mil? Isaiah says, and I fill his cup with more milk.  I forget to make him say please.

There is hunger.

Yesterday I raked myself over the coals for spending yet another fortune on groceries.  I hate the way it cuts into our budget, especially now that I’m on a raw diet.  I bemoaned the state of our nation and its rising grocery costs. 

There’s no food left in the village….  Aid agencies say there’s not enough food in the country.

And then on Renee’s blog, Steppin’ Heavenward, I learned of the food crisis that has entangled Ethiopia in its hateful clutches.  I watched the BBC news clip “Ethiopia faces food crisis.”  Shame flooded over me for thinking I have food troubles and a tight budget.  Shame on me.  Shame on me!

We barely eat once a day, and there are days we don’t eat at all.

Last night, one of the children died here, another the night before, two the night before that…. The sister believes we’re at the start of this crisis and not the end.

I realize it’s hard to care deeply about crises half a world away.  But if it’s the mother of your baby or your baby who may be starving for food at this very moment…

Oh, God…

blogland favorites 27.March.2008

I haven’t been overly generous in publicizing the blogs I read, so here’s a special post to recognize my favorite blogs created by people I’ve never met.  (If you’re interested in reading my friends’ blogs, check my comments.  I figure they’ll provide a link if they want to be found.)

1. the ashram

Oh, how I love this blog.  It is written by members of a Christian community in Lexington, Kentucky.  It is brimming with examples of how to communally live in the fullness of Christ.  These people have creativity, passion for living holy lives, concern for the environment, intentionality in creating meaningful relationships.  The bloggers publish thoughtful poetry, powerful quotations, important and timely web links, and compelling photography.  I just wish Lexington, Kentucky were a little closer to Dallas.

2. Owlhaven

This is my favorite adoption blog, to date.  I think Mary, the author of Owlhaven, may well be a superwoman.  She shares a lot about the goings-on of her ten children (a mix of biological and adopted kids), and throws in some adoption advice and helpful house-running tips along the way.

3. zenhabits

This popular and highly successful blog is well-organized, topically focused, and inspiring.  I don’t visit it often, but I know it’s there as a great resource on how to live simply and minimalistically. (Is that redundant?)

4. walk slowly, live wildly

Hands down, my favorite blog right now.  This girl is my hero.  How can one person be so spiritually focused, creative, interesting, unafraid, and green all at the same time?  She loves books, has dreads, and tours the the country in an RV that runs on veggie oil.  She has another blog, happy foody, where she sings the praises of eating raw (a little too brave for me), but walk slowly, live wildly is where I hang my hat.

5. The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks

Okay, I’ll admit, this one is getting a little old, but some of the posts are a lot of fun.  The blog’s sole purpose is to publish pictures of signs that use quotation marks unnecessarily, which, obviously, is right up my “alley.”

6. The Pioneer Woman Cooks!

I stayed up way too late last night reading this blog for the first time.  This is the secondary site of Pioneer Woman Ree.  Her other site is undergoing a facelift, but I think it’s almost done.  I was overwhelmed with all the pictures when I read the first post, but Ree is so funny in her cooking banter that she drew me in.  Her recipes are not fancy or health-conscious, but they sound yummy (and the pictures are pretty!). 

an announcement, of sorts 27.March.2008

I dream of Ethiopia, where in a city near Addis Ababa, a woman’s abdomen swells with the life inside her.  She wrestles with the attachment she has to the small, kicking being.  It’s too late now.  She never wanted to be attached, knowing motherhood will be torn from her.  But she gave away her heart long ago.  She hates the trials that will steal her dreams.  Even in sickness and poverty, she tries to keep dreaming… of hope and a future.

I will carry her baby in my arms.  I will be the one to soothe its cries, to watch it grow.  Her baby will learn to speak… not Amharic, but English.  I doubt the woman’s baby will grow up knowing what poverty and war and fear of illness feel like.  But I pray for strength to teach it what it needs to know of love, of hunger for justice, of God, and of its birth mother.

 All the days of her life, she will remember her child.  The questions and the pain and the attachment will not end as she hands over her baby.

 And I resolve not to forget her either.

*          *          * 

“45 million orphans:  I find the numbers utterly numbing.  Some 25 million Africans are infected with HIV, and only a tiny fraction has access to the expensive, lifesaving medicines.  When you add AIDS orphans to those left parentless by TB, malaria, malnourishment, drouoght, and war, the result is 45 million orphans.

“Wealthy countries must try to solve the AIDS orphan crisis with aid, fair trade, and debt relief.  Simply put: The world has to keep parents alive to stop orphaning kids.

“Adoption is not the solution.  It affects less than 1000th of 1 percent of African orphans.  But it is truly a miracle in the life of one child, and a marvelous way for a family to grow….” -Melissa Fay Greene