my lonely existence

Withdrawal pains are coming on strong. I thought I could quit e-mail and the internet any time, but I miss them so much. Is it only Thursday? Four whole days to go.

Day one was okay. I was busy on the computer, so that was like eating fake sugar. Kills the cravings without the calories.

Day two I thought to myself that this fasting from the internet was a good lesson because I could determine what I really need the internet for — bank account information, for instance — and deem everything else as wasting time.

Day three I called some people, but they didn’t answer. So I sulked a little and felt very isolated. I came to believe that I need the internet to stay connected to people since I have so few friends with regular, in-person relationships. But I was kind of mad at the world we live in, too, that has become so connected in technological ways that real relationships are often superficial or nonexistent. If I were in a little village, and took all my laundry to the river to wash it, Isaiah would get the grandma-love he needs on a daily basis, and I would get some adult time.

Today it all just got harder, and I began to dread the weekend when I’ll have to say “no” to our Friday or Saturday night movie because I just had to add that to my list of things from which to fast. Why am I such an overachiever? But today was good because I got return phone calls from a couple people, so at least I didn’t feel so isolated.

I write this so you don’t feel isolated, dear readers. If new blogs posts kill some cravings for you, be thankful for Windows Live Writer, by which I can post to my blog without using the internet. It makes me feel pretty generous.

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    • Brooke
    • July 25th, 2007

    Thanks for that 🙂

    • thephantomlimb
    • January 4th, 2008

    *Thanks Windows Live Writer*
    I don’t think I could go very long without my e-mail and the internet, especially as I’m off school. It’s the only way I stay in touch with people (most of the time).

    But…*pats you on the back* Your doing well. =]

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