isaiah: love

His soft, sweaty flesh is pasted across my arms as we huddle in the dark corner of his room.  I’m not supposed to rock him to sleep anymore, am I?

In the daytime, he ambles over to kiss me (or lick me, if he’s feeling ornery).  He points a dirty fingernail at my forehead and says “eyebrow” for the very first time.  With puzzle pieces strewn over the carpet, I watch my boy (my boy!  I have a little boy!), and I keep being amazed.  He learns and he dances and he says words and gives hugs, and yes, he throws tantrums, too.

And then at nighttime, with his blankets up against his sticky cheeks, he falls asleep.  I kiss his head and tell him I love him one more time.  I pray for him to love God and love people and to develop patience and courage and wisdom.  And I shut the door, and he goes to sleep.

Well, except for tonight, when he had a little trouble settling down.  So many times, I have made him cry out his problems, not knowing if it was loneliness or fear or desire for just another ounce of milk that made him so unsettled.  He wasn’t sick tonight or in a strange place, but I went in to him anyway.  I held him against my breasts and watched his eyes close as his breathing became heavy.  His body is longer than it used to be.  He will not always be my little baby.

For now, I will touch each moment with a lingering hand.

  1. “touch each moment with a lingering hand.”

    Isn’t that the truth. So easily forgotten in the hurry of the day to day. I hope I can slow down too and enjoy every moment with our little one. Time is precious.

  2. Carrie-cute commentary on your little guy 🙂 Enjoy, enjoy! We have Cailer with us this week and it’s amazing how long bedtime prep lasts (shower, pj’s, bible stories, talking, praying, settling down the stuffed animals) and how quickly morning comes 😀 We’re loving it though. He found out after the first 24 hours that he can easily outlast his uncles Dan & Duane while swimming-they were sacked out on the couches when I got home from work yesterday and Dan commented that he was glad 2nd shift had arrived!! Wow-it takes such dedication to burn a 4-year old’s energy in productive ways, but it’s so worth it!! My 2nd shift included a walk to the grocery store last night-yesterday evening it was a walk to a chinese restaurant and then the park. Who knows what this evening will bring-maybe kayaking 😉

  3. just thought you might like this…

    • clbeyer
    • June 24th, 2008

    I love that story at the link you sent. It is particularly interesting to see it in comic strip form. The artwork is spare and bold at the same time.

    Enjoy your time with Cailer! He’s lucky to have such a fun aunt and uncle.

    • Rachel
    • June 24th, 2008

    When I was pregnant, a very wise lady gave me this advice…
    “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
    for babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow.
    So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
    I am rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”

    • clbeyer
    • June 24th, 2008

    Oh, that is beautiful, Rachel. Thank you.

    I think I need to post that prominently somewhere in my house so I can always remember it.

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